Holy shit, I’m a fucking adult.

woahSo, I told you guys last week how I still don’t really feel like I belong into the adult world. I’m still kind of just floating on the periphery. Basically, I’m a child-woman.

Well that was last week motherfuckers! Yep, last week I was cruising and free-wheeling my way through life and today I crashed right into that motherfucker.

 

boomlife

I think in the Jewish faith it’s called a Bat Mitzvah…when a girl become a woman. Well motherfuckers today I became a woman. That’s right bitches. Today I received an official blessing from the Gods of Adulthood. I received a BONERFIED certificate to prove to all the other adults that I am now one of them.

I got my first parking ticket.

 

Hold up.

It gets fucking better.

 

I’m also getting audited!!!! By the Inland Revenue or SARS as they’re called here in South Africa.

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I quite frankly cannot contain my excitement about these two events and I’m telling everyone! I’m so honored and proud. I had no idea the tax people even knew who I was. Apparently, not only do they know who I am, they also think I’m smart enough to cheat on my taxes 😀 😀 😀

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I have been validated. Approved. Blessed by the Gods of Adulthood. The Gods cry from the heavens “she is one of us now”

With tears of ecstatic joy seeping from my eyes I jubilantly wave the ticket in excitement.

superyyyaaayy

I feel like I just received my PhD in grown up shit.

 

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Finally! Finally I can be one of those people who complain about parking tickets. Finally I can complain about taxes.

I feel like a whole world of adult grievances has been kept from me until this very moment. At last! At last I am an adult. Now I can finally complain to the neighbors that their ficus is blocking my afternoon sun and demand that they trim it. Hooray! From this day forward I am an adult!

To prove my age I will no longer need to provide my ID. I will simply whip out my parking ticket (which is currently getting laminated).

The doorman and I will solemnly nod. He will rest an understanding arm on my shoulder and we will look at each other in the knowledge that we are one.

eyes

Woven from the same cloth, we are one flesh, united in the struggle for survival in the jungle of life.

We are brothers. We are adults. We are one.

He will then invite me into the club.

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “Holy shit, I’m a fucking adult.

  1. haha! Congrats on your entry into adulthood. It looks really exciting, but I should add that when the IRS decided to have an anniversary celebration of my entry into adulthood, it wasn’t nearly as much fun as the first time. 😀

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    1. well I must admit that it sounded a lot cooler in my head. Didn’t realise that being audited meant looking for invoices and scanning boring documents. In my head it was more exotic. Like a sexy accountant would come to my house and tap on his laptop and I would just need to say yes or no to his questions and keep topping up his water glass

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha!! Dude the tax thing was super difficult to work out. I got an adult to help me though. The parking fine is cool because they don’t expect me to pay it right? I mean who do I even pay? How does that work? Isn’t the parking like a warning? Xxxxxx

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