7 shameful things we probably all do

1. Pee in the shower/bath/pool.

depressionshower

As if I would schlepp all the way to the toilet when I can just pee in this beautiful porcelain womb. If it’s good enough for a fetus, then it’s good enough for me.

 

2. Steal towels from Hotels.

depressionhotelsteal
Please don’t sue me

Ok, I know stealing is wrong and I swear I don’t usually do it but somehow when I’m forking out a small fortune for a hotel room I feel somewhat entitled to take a towel or two or four.

 

3. Fart on a long-haul flight.

airplanedepression
Did this seat just get higher?

I am pretty certain I’m not the only one guilty of this. Initially I’m always a bit reluctant. Then after five hours of my zipper digging into my swollen gut, I weigh up the pros and cons, and after much internal debate, I finally give in and gather up the courage (and gas) to quietly sneak out a little toot. I did this once just as the stewardess leaned down to ask whether I wanted chicken or beef.

 

4. Engage in some very secret hair removal.

depressionhairy
He he he

Unless you’re a baby mouse (in which case, how are you reading this blog?), you’re gonna have some hair in places where it don’t belong. We all like to pretend we are perfect hairless showgirls but the sad reality is that we all remove hair from some very dark places. Any hair that ain’t paying rent has to go!

 

5. Google yourself.

sinakim
Just call me Kim Yong-Sina

Sometimes when I’ve been on the internet for like 10 hours straight I think to myself “I have now seen ALL the internet” and I get really bored and wonder what else there is to do. It is usually at this point that I google myself. Turns out there are A LOT of North Korean men named Sina.

 

6. Look at our poop.

face
Oh no she didn’t!

Ok, this one really separates the men from the boys. We all perform the obligatory post-poop inspection yet we would never admit to this. Until now.

 

7. Forget how to walk up the stairs.

stairs up

forgetsstairs

stairsnotworking

trip

Well this is strange, I seem to have forgotten how to do this thing I learned as a toddler. It’s like my brain only has so much space and when it’s full, it throws out information it thinks I don’t need anymore, like the ability to walk up stairs.

Brain: “Oh well, she hasn’t had to do this in a long time, best we remove it and make room for the lyrics to Ice Ice Baby”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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24 thoughts on “7 shameful things we probably all do

  1. Loved it. The honest approach to silly things most of us have done was as refreshing as it was entertaining 🙂 Check out our blog for all manner of ridiculous stories, information, and observations. Plus crabs, hippocampuses, chupacabre, and other tom foolery!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Excellent! I love to be liked. Be sure to check brownandwooden.wordpress.com often and read through our articles. We will be posting a new one tomorrow explaining (perhaps) the recent drop in gasoline prices! Thanks for the response!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeah i’m ridiculous, and I have nothing to lose, so I plug our blog as much as I can. No one on wordpress knows who I really am so as Todd Fisk I can be as shameless as I want!

    Like

  3. Your use of Microsoft Paint is magical. It’s what really sets your blog apart from others. Just… Divine.

    Love,

    Another fan of the Lost Art Of Microsoft Paint

    Like

  4. Lol…brilliant list! By the way re: body hair, have you seen the trend to dye arm pit hair? I feel like we’ve already talked about this…deja vu…creepy…anyway…if I had the choice of any colour I would choose turquoise pit hair or like a soft, romantic pink. Un abrazo fuerte, amiga 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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