Depression. You have to save yourself.

You’re drifting at the bottom of the ocean. It’s dark all around you. You feel both empty and heavy at the same time. A part of you hopes the ocean will claim you so you can finally find peace. Your lungs feel tight. You can’t breathe. There is no oxygen at the bottom of the ocean.

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Floating in the darkness you think “I can’t do this much longer. This is no existence.”

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You paddle and paddle, trying to stay afloat, but the ocean is strong and it’s pulling you down. It’s so strange because normally you’re a really strong swimmer but the ocean is ruthless. It’s pulling you under further and further and there is nothing you can do. You feel helpless and powerless. It’s a pointless struggle.

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You’re about to give up when you’re thrown a small life line – antidepressants. Suddenly the ocean doesn’t seem so dark anymore.

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You feel your strength returning. You’re still paddling but there is a newfound hope and optimism.

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You paddle like this for a while. Then you come across a buoy in the middle of the ocean. You anxiously paddle towards it.

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A safe haven. You climb on top of it and rest. Breathing heavily from the struggle you hug the buoy tightly. Under your breath you whisper “thank you for being here.” In the middle of all this darkness you have found someone to talk to, someone who cares, someone you can lean on. This someone has come across many other people stranded in the ocean and has provided them with refuge too.

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Armed with your life ring and feeling invigorated from the rest you had laying on the buoy, you continue to paddle. For the first time in a long time you think “I can do this”. You’re putting all your energy into fighting the darkness now. You swim harder than you ever have before. Your arms are getting heavier.

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Until eventually you see a small flicker of green across the horizon. Is it land?

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You swim faster yet. At last, you see the shore approaching. Just a little longer and you’re home on safe land.

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You collapse on the warm sand. You’re exhausted but relieved that it’s all over.

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After a long sleep in the afternoon sun, you slowly find your feet. Your legs are trembling. You stand up. Your head held high. You look up at the sun. It’s smiling down at you. You feel stronger than ever before. You did it. You survived. You saved yourself. You’re invincible now.

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When you’re drowning out there in the vast ocean that is Depression, just remember there is help out there. You’re not alone. Just keep going. Keep fighting. Keep swimming and you’ll be home in no time. Don’t wait for someone to rescue you. Only you can rescue you.

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